From a Mass of Mess



There are some very cute, psychedelic, no nonsense fellows who do not want to be involved in any kind of mess. They can’t stand any nonsense. That is very good. But let me remind you here that we were all born from a mass of mess considering our conception, sustenance and delivery.


We were all born into a mess, with a mess and in a mess. Take a look at the process through which you came into existence. It was rough, messy! You were once in a mass of water in your mother’s womb drinking and sucking all sorts. This reminds me of a delivery I was privy to some time ago. In the course of this lady’s pregnancy she had boil on her stomach which generated pus inwardly. Her baby in its innocence had a dose of the pus which it sucked intermittently. What a mess! This landed the baby in the Intensive Care Unit at delivery. And the baby survived, yet.


Think of when you were born also. You were born into a pool of blood, soaked, immersed in it. It got into every part of your body. Your mother’s blood, right? Thank God for the nurses that came to clean you up from the mass of mess. They cleaned you up from the slimy, bloody, dirty mess from your mother’s womb. Such is life! That’s how we all came to embrace life. It’s part of us, and we are all part of it.


This applies to every aspect of life that sometimes you may find yourself in a kind of mess. It is part of life. We all experienced it in our cradle, though subconsciously. So when you find yourself in a kind of mess, learn to live with it. It’s part of our makeup. It's part of the process for progress. And then, practically and tactically, work out a way to make things better, getting cleaned up.


In your marriage, you may once in a while go through a mess. You may be emotionally messed up. You may receive all forms of messy things from your spouse, in laws, etc. in the name of marriage. You may receive all forms of humiliations, debasement, unfair treatments in the course of your marital journey. Don’t worry, they are all part of the process for progress. It's unhealthy to stop the process just because you can’t take the mess.

Sometimes in marriage, you ask yourself, “How did I get here?” And you want to quit because you can’t take the nonsense anymore. Dear, you need to take the nonsense because it's part of the growth process. 


I remember a preacher’s sermon some more than twelve years ago at my former  boss' wedding. The preacher’s words were as clear as crystal, “If you can’t take nonsense, don’t marry” Yes! If you can’t take nonsense you are not qualified to marry. There are a lot of nonsense you may need to swim through in marriage. And you must accept them the way they are for your marriage to succeed. Yes, you will need to swim through and out of the mess to become a better person. Don’t throw in the towel. Throwing in the towel is not the way to go.


In your place of work, the nonsense-humiliation, embarrassment, debasement may be at a crescendo. You can’t take this anymore. Maybe you are treated like trash. Your efforts are not appreciated. “ This mess is just too much!” And so you want to quit. Quit when you get a better offer or when it's really time to move ahead. There are some decisions you take in the heat of an ill treatment that you may regret later. And then you begin to pine, “I should have just allowed the process to complete itself” Sometimes things may get worse before they get better. I think all you need is to discover purpose anywhere you find yourself and stay focused.


What about your place of worship? The people in your place of worship (church, mosque or any other spiritual organization) don’t seem to be serious-lackadaisical, unbounded. The leader doesn’t even seem to help matters. It may even be subordinates frustrating the efforts of the leader. And so, you can’t take it anymore. Dear, you may need to share in the mess before you can properly make a clean up.


What about your family? Your family members may appear nasty, crazy. Even your parents don’t seem to help matters. They present themselves as a bundle of irritation. Your siblings have gone gaga. One is an internet fraudster. The other has had different children from three different men. Yet another smokes weed all over the streets. A bunch of crazy fellas. And now you want to disconnect yourself from all of them.But come to think of it. How can you even run away from your shadow? Dear, as a way out, you may need to share in the mess before you can make a proper clean up. Sometimes, you need to be messed up before you can be cleaned up. They are all part of the process of reaching your goal.


Do have a blessed day.


© Osasuyi Omoragbon,

January 2023

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